Pirates of the Caribbean: Heaven

In Florres, we heard the same thing- go to Lanquin, stay at Zephyr- it’s the best place in the world. To say we had a route planned in Guatemala is a lie, we barely planned before this trip. We had a week to spare so we hopped on a shuttle to check out this ‘Zephyr lodge’ and ‘Lanquin’.

Oh. My. God.

Turns out the travellers knew what they were talking about. I was expecting an ‘eco-lodge’ on a muddy jungle river with a bar and rope swings into the river to cool yourself from the muggy, Guatemalan heat. What I got was a quaint and beautiful wooden hostel on top of a hill in the middle of mountains I didn’t know existed, overlooking extensive valleys and rivers, surrounded by a cool and beautiful forest. 

My dorm bed was a double mattress shared with Jade in a loft with a big window overlooking the luxuriant valley and little village of Lanquin. 

This was totally unexpected and paradise at $4 a night. The food was organic, healthy and amazing and the happy hour dark and stormy’s pretty damn good.  The only downfall was that walking into the hostel was like walking into an Australian bar-so many Ozzies! Luckily they were all particularly decent. We’d had no set plans and now we didn’t need them: we were staying!

Of the four days we had here, we spent a significant amount of time wandering through the hills, along the river and through the very basic, very rural village. 

Jade, dressed by H&M

We still managed to find super cheap burritos (1.20 for 3), mojitos and frappacinos. (Note: Guatemalan coffee is famous and frappacinos are the best)

 We swam in the icy, crystal clear water of the river, drank coconuts and spent an afternoon lazying in a tube floating through the national park river, past our hostel, the little local kids, paddocks and cows, mountains and under bridges. There was the occasional extreme moments where we needed to navigate currents but the only casualty was Nico who managed to wrap himself around a tree at full speed.

Carlos’s extreme tour

It is said that one of the most beautiful places in Guatemala is Semuc Champey, a one hour drive from Lanquin. For $20 we had the opportunity to take a tour and after much discussion we decided to go for it. I can honestly say this was the best $20 I’ve ever spent and one of the most amazing days of my life. Every aspect of this tour was crazy and extreme, set in the most beautiful location in the world.

The one hour drive involved 11 people standing in the back of a small truck as it weaved up and down mountains, through little villages and dangerously close to the edge of cliffs. The landscape and views from the top of these mountains were breathtakingly beautiful and I felt I could almost see all of Guatemala stretching out in front of me as I knocked my hip and shoulder for the fifth time against a metal bar from my standing place. At one point, for 20 minutes we were caught in the most bizarre parade in a little village. Each truck ‘float’ had a different child dressed as different themes; a swimmer, soccer player, someone on a couch. We had no idea what was going on but, as we were last in the line of floats making a slow procession through, we waved from the back of our pick up truck float like the rest of the parade .

We arrived to a beautiful river of deep, aqua blue icy water in the middle of the national park, hours away from any help. Our first activity was an initiation. Each person had to sit on a seat of a rope swing that our crazy tour guide, Carlos, would lift above his head and release over the boulder riddled river. When he yelled ‘jump’ you jumped or you fell onto a rock and died. Each person would have fallen at least 5 meters and I touched the ground on impact but it was an insane adrenaline rush in a beautiful location. Almost everyone did it, even though it was stupid and crazy, and it was amazing fun!

After our little bonding session we walked to the Lanquin caves. 

The cave we went through has a river running through it. At points you wade and at other points you swim. I thought the ATM caves were awesome but this was actually the coolest thing I’ve ever done. No torches, only candles. Imagine swimming, climbing and wading two hours in a cave by candlelight. It was an adrenaline rush in itself, casting an eerie light on everything and making me feel like I was in Pirates of the Carribean. Turns out this tour was only for adrenaline junkies. On approaching a 4m high waterfall I jokingly said to the guy next to me ‘now we climb’. Man did I eat my words. Carlos pulled out a rope and away we went, climbing up a waterfall with my candle tucked in my bikini, trying simultaneously to not swallow water and not die. Turns out candles don’t work well if you wet them. We swam through tunnels with our candles in our mouths, fell through a 30 cm hole down a 2m drop into a pool at the bottom of a chamber and even did a jump off a ledge in the dark, into a small pool surrounded by rocks. Only a few people were stupid enough to do this and I can honestly say it is one of the scariest things I’ve ever done; it was such a narrow space to aim for and a very long way to fall. Carlos was a fantastic ghoul, swimming through secret passages underground and turning up a few minutes later screaming. That guy loves his job.

After surviving the cave, Carlos took us to the Bridge. The Bridge, our hostel told us, is not for jumping off. Standing at 12m high with numerous boulders underneath, it’s both stupid and dangerous to jump off. Unfortunately for us, adrenaline is a highly addictive drug. Carlos, of course, did back flips off it instantly. 

Jade and I spent minutes standing on the edge working ourselves into hysterics. Finally I took the plunge and it was crazy. I just kept on falling. Luckily no one died and I can now write to say it was completely awesome and turns out Jade is a bigger adrenaline junkie than any of us-go figure.

That morning was one of the most incredible mornings of my life, the best thing I have done in central. I was so happy and content. Sitting on the grass, enjoying lunch I thought it was over. I’d forgotten that we’d yet to get to the most beautiful place on earth! A short 1 hour jungle trek up a mountain brought us to a viewing platform of Semuc Champey. 

Semuc Champey is a ‘surreal swimming attraction’. It involves a number of stepped turquoise pools filled with the same crystal clear, icy cold mountain water that makes this place. At the end of the pools is a 15m high waterfall going into the river. If the hostel was set in the most beautiful place on earth, this was heaven. The trek was hard but we were expecting it as it was the only thing carlos warned us about, I got dizzy from my lack of water.

After standing on the vieving platform over the edge of a cliff 50m in the air, we headed down for swimming. This place was idyllic and perfect. We spent hours exploring the pools, swimming through secret passages under ledges, floating on our backs taking in the spectacular cliffs and mountain landscape and, of course, ledge jumping and waterfall sliding with Carlos.

 It was so perfect, made more so by the many Mayan kids selling home made, traditional Mayan chocolate discs to enhance everything(I swear they were laced with something-there is no way I could get that high from just ife)

 


Finally, after the most perfect of days, we clambered into the pick-up truck and took the bumpy ride back to the most beautiful place on earth. Words can not express how amazing and awesome this day was. It is the best tour I have ever done and I highly recommend everyone travels to Guatemala for this.  Book your flights!