Jade reporting! Sadly - and gladly - I'm coming to the end of my travels now. The past 8 months have been a wonderful experience. I've discovered a few extra things about life and travelling, met amazing people, and learned some important lessons that I'd like to share...
1. Always have your priorities in order:
- Passport
- iPhone
- Fruit pants
2. The limits of friendship are far reaching
What is friendship? Some (me) would say that friendship is when someone (Susanna) accosts you when you've just gotten out of bed at 8am in the morning. They (she) are still on the edge of slumber, and ask you to feel their (her) clothes at the end of their (her) bed on the floor to see if they´re wet. Confused but trusting you feel the clothes. Indeed they are wet. You ask them (Susanna) why? ...
3. The world is your toilet
This includes, but is not limited to: the mountain, the beach (advantage - ability to conserve precious toilet paper), the marketplace, and occasionally actual toilets. Exceptions to the rule do exist and include bodies of water containing piranhas (e.g. Las Pampas, Bolivian Amazon) and other peoples clothes*.
*Despite amount of alcohol consumed, there is no excuse for pulling down one's pants and squatting over a pile of clothes neatly arranged on the dorm room floor at the end of someone else's bed and relieving one's bladder.
4. Bus travel is a strange and unpredicatable world
Sometimes in Panama your bus may be stopped by bananas crossing the road.
When catching an 18hr bus in Bolivia, you may be stopped in a happening town of Sillar (population approx 10 houses, 1 tienda, 2 restaurants) due to road works from 7am-4pm. These works may be fixing a landslide that has happened on the unpaved mountain/cliff side road side ahead. If this happens make sure you have 3 good friends with you and purchase textas and paper. The time will pass, eventually, and then you will have to get back on the bus that smells a little bit like toilet and continue your journey along Death Road.
5. Australia (The Movie)
Is actually extremely popular on Central and Southern American buses. Nicole Kidman speaking Spanish is more entertaining than the original.
6. It´s all about perspective
Indeed there may come a day when you want to climb Macchu Pichu. On this day several things could come to pass:
- You could have an injured knee that is practically unbendable,
- Your tour company may not have bought tickets to enter Macchu Pichu park as they promised, rendering your 3.30am wake up useless as the ticket office doesn´t open til 6am,
- So you buy tickets late at start to climb the virtually empty Macchu Pichu mountain at a slothlike place due to injured knee.
- Nearing the top of Macchu Pichu mountain, you may realise that your camera is in fact missing and recall using it near the bottom. You may then choose to run back up and down the mountain without eventually finding it.
- You reach the top, without sunrise, without camera, having missed a tour of the park, with an amiga sporting an injured knee. If despite all of this you are still smiling, still amazed, and still feel triumphant, then you are probably insane (or Jade or Susanna)
If you are not nice and argue over paying money to Mexican border officials, said officials may not stamp your passport without you knowing it. This will be pointed out to you upon arriving by bus at the Belizean border 2km away. You will then have to leave your bags with a nice Irish woman while you, dressed in singlet and skirt,
follow her marathon runner husband and your amigo Nico back to the Mexican border. You will run past armed guards back to the border officials as they try to charge you another $20 each to stamp your passport. Once stamps have been acquired, you have missed your bus to Belize City and will arrive much later (11pm) in one of the more dangerous cities in the world.
8. Talking to animals is OK
Indeed it is possible to have satisfying conversations with sloths, possums, monkeys and toucans. Deer are particularly talkative.
9. There are plenty of things to do when you´re low on cash $$
- Look poor. Friendly backpackers will offer you Toblerone and gin and tonics.
- Food = Art, therefore Bakery = Gallery, therefore it is not strange to walk into every single bakery, admire the food and then leave without purchasing anything. Instead this is a manner of art appreciation and a part of being a cultured traveller.
- Find an ex-prisoner who now owns a Middle-Eastern restaurant in Colombia. He will become infatuated with you and give you free Shawarma.
- Couch surf!
- Buy a $2 bottle of wine. Drink. Sleep.
10. Friends can always be replaced with llamas
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I'll miss you Suz! I hope Pepe has as much fun as I did travelling with you!
